Finally!

My new and improved master bathroom is finished. I couldn't be more thrilled with the results. It may not look like a lot of work to you but it was. First we painted the entire bathroom and covered that horrid wallpaper. Then we tore up the carpet and replaced the floor. Who ever thought of putting carpet in a bathroom in the first place is a complete idiot but I will save that for another day. We also replaced the toilet and hopefully soon the shower door. I'm so excited I love my new bathroom. Happy Day!


You can click image to enlarge.

Always My Son

Always My Son

Ten years ago today you came into this world,
A bouncing baby boy, Seth was your name.
You are my son, a part of me, and that will never change,
No matter what you do in life my love will still remain.
I held you as a baby boy and I looked into your face,
And I knew then, no other one could ever take your place.
I knew then as I held you, you would grow to be a man,
And anything you did in life I’d try to understand.
I knew you would make choices and would follow your own heart,
I only prayed that in your life I’d always have a part.
I know this life's not perfect and we do the best we can,
Just realize I love you and I’ll always understand.
I knew one day you would grow up and you would leave my nest,
I will do what I can for you and let God do the rest.
I have held you in my arms and done the best I can,
Now I pray that God will hold you as you become a man.
Just remember in my heart you are a special one,
And I will always proudly tell the world, "this is my son."

For Seth Michael May 10, 1998

Happy Birthday! You are loved and missed by many.

Empty

I fell asleep crying and I woke up crying. This time of year is so hard for me. Seth will be 10 years old tomorrow and I’m having a hard time coping. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and just hold my baby boy and never let him go. Instead I sit, numb, just waiting for the day to pass. I can re-live the day he was born just like it was yesterday. All the moments are still so fresh in my mind.

I started working on Seth’s story in hopes to share it with everyone on his birthday but it become too much, I didn’t finish. It’s the main area in my life that makes me fell like a total failure. I have a son out there who doesn’t have his mom. How do you write a story to tell people why you haven’t seen your son in 6 years? No matter how I seemed to word it, it just doesn’t sound right. I know the road to healing is telling people our story but for some reason I just can’t…gotta go…it’s too much.

In Laws

I’m so annoyed with my sister in law right now it’s so not even funny. It’s been a constant struggle with this girl since the day I met her but I recently discovered her talking about me on an online forum. Which in itself isn’t anything new but she knows I belong to this forum and yet she keeps throwing her little comments out there and it irks me like you wouldn’t believe.

She responded to a post about mother in laws and them being anti breastfeeding. She replied with some things about mother in law, then she busted out with this and I’m quoting exactly: “MIL also pressured my SIL so much that she gave up on BFing as well.” WTF? First of all I didn’t “give up” on breastfeeding and second if I did I can assure you mother in law had nothing to do with it. Arrrgh! I’m so frustrated. She always has to one up me. Like who gives a flying flip that you have officially breastfed your son for longer than I did. Congratulations, but do you need to bash me on an online forum. Grow up!

Oh and P.S. MIL reads that forum also hahaha!