A bit of a delay

I know I'm lagging on part 2 of dealer fraud but we went to meet with lawyers yesterday so I hope to have part 2 up soon. :)

Reflecting

Have you ever been driving along in your car, listening to a song on the radio and been overwhelmed with emotion? It happens to me a lot. I just get to thinking about my life and how so very blessed I am. I glance back in the rear view mirror to see Rayce’s smiling face and I just can’t help but cry. A good kind of cry. I have a wonderful husband whom provides for his family, which allows me to stay home with our son. I have a roof over my head and food on the table; I just couldn’t feel more blessed. Sure we don’t have all the expensive stuff and some of the nicer things in life but who cares. We have each other and we have our family. As long as I have that I feel fulfilled.

Dealer Fraud Part 1

Imagine trying to trade in your vehicle only to be told that it couldn’t be traded in because it shows signs of being in an accident. A major accident. Well, that happened to us. On June 27 we tried to trade in our Nissan Xterra because it gets horrible gas mileage and we were in desperate need of something else. To our surprise the vehicle isn’t even worth half of what we paid for it. How could this be? We trusted the person who sold it to us, Ray’s dad. It was time to act and time to act fast.

Ray went to the dealership where we purchased the vehicle and gave them a chance to make matters right. Only to be told that there was nothing that could be done because the dealership had been sold and was under new ownership. Just great now what? They politely handed us a carfax (which will come back to bite them in the ass later) and sent us on our way but, little did they know I wasn’t going to let it stop at that.

I decided to do some investigating on my own. I started with retrieving the police report from the accident. I was speechless. Not only was our vehicle in an accident but the police report stated that it had sustained heavy damage, disabled on scene, and was towed away. I was pissed, furious, and on a mission to make these people pay for selling me a totaled vehicle.

We started making phone calls. Starting with Ray’s dad then, we moved onto both parties involved in the accident. Neither party wanted to speak to us which was very frustrating because they had nothing to lose from speaking to us. Fine, so be it, we decided to call the insurance companies. After getting tossed around and put on hold we finally spoke to someone whom told us the claim number and that both vehicles had been declared a total loss. Perfect that was all the information I needed to contact the Attorney General’s office.

New Mexico law states that if a vehicle has sustained wreck damage and the cost of repair for the collision damage exceeds 6% of the sales price of the vehicle, then, yes, the dealer must provide a written affidavit to the purchaser that describes the vehicle and states whether there has been repair work done on the vehicle due to wreck damage. No affidavit was provided to us. Nothing, zilch, nada, zeros. I think we have a dealer fraud case on our hands my friends. Stay tuned for part 2 because it only gets better from here.

Visit with OB

I went to see my OB and she gave me the OK to have another baby. Since I'm extra fluffy I decided it was probably in my best interest to consult with her first. She sent me for some blood work, just to check everything out and it all came back normal. That included my glucose for the last 3 months so I was thrilled with that. She made a comment about making it to easy for me the last time (with Rayce) which I thought was funny. I told her she did such a great job that I couldn't help but want to do it all again. She just gave me "that" look and smiled. I love my OB! I would recommend her to anyone, any day. So if all goes according to planned with this cycle we're hoping this will be it! So stay tuned!

This cycle is out!

Just when I had made up my mind about what to do with the cycle a higher power decided to make up my mind for me. My body decided it was going to ovulate 3 days earlier than it did last month and before I had a chance to catch on it was too late. I’m starting to feel like maybe this isn’t the right time for another baby. I mean what are the odds that I would ovulate early? I’ve never ovulated this early. So frustrating but I have to chalk it up to everything happens for a reason and go on. I’m disappointed but at the same time I don’t know what else to do. On to the next cycle cause this one is out!
P.S.

If you're into charting and you'd like to see how I determine my ovulation click here!

Trying to conceive

That time of the month has just about wrapped up but now I’m struggling with to try this month or not to try this month. The reason being is I’m going to be in a wedding this coming fall and I already have my dress. :/ With Rayce I started showing early on and I’m almost positive this would be the case this time around. I don’t want to worry about my dress not fitting but at the same time we really want another baby. I mean really! I dunno I feel like if we hold off until after the wedding then something else will come up and it will just be a never ending circle. Uggg! Why do I have to be so OCD and think through everything all the time? This only CD7 so I still have time to decide.

False Hope

So it's no secret now that Ray and I are trying to have another baby. We weren't really "trying" this month because I knew I was going to be having dental work done and I would be on a lot of medications well...that all went out the window when my body decided to throw me a curve ball and ovulate late. Two days late to be exact! Ok, fine no biggie, we would gladly have another child if blessed with one but what about my big dental procedure I have coming up? I started to panic. So I took a test the morning of the procedure and nothing, by this time I was a day late. I thought for sure I would begin to spot that day and still nothing. So, I took another test and I kind of saw something but my wonderful online friends didn't so I went ahead and had my wisdom teeth pulled (which was the worst experience ever but we'll save that for another post) and on the way home I stopped for some more test! Yep got down at wal-greens, all chipmunk cheeked, gaze still in and all ah ha ha! When I got home I peed on a stick again. Again, I thought I saw something but I was in a daze so I just thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. So at that point I decided I wouldn't test anymore until the morning. So the morning came and I just couldn't wait! I got up at 6 am and tested! The picture above is what I got. You can see a second line if you really squint. Crap! I started to panic again because by this time I had taken so many medications I didn't know what to do. So I got on-line for some advice and opinions. Well, not too long after that I started to bleed. :( How could this be? What if I hadn't gone to have my teeth pulled? Ahhhhhh! What if, what if? I guess I will never know...

Day 4

With 3 kids and I'm TIRED! It's amazing the difference between taking care of three kids as opposed to taking care of just one. I now have three times as much dishes, laundry, mouths to feed, and minds to keep entertained. Don't get me wrong I love my niece and nephew they are the most well behaved kids ever. I wouldn't trade them any other. But whew it’s a lot of work. Right now they are at the pool with Ray and I'm getting a much needed break! I'm catching up on internets then I'm off to take a nice, long, hot shower. Slide show to follow of all the fun stuff we have planed. Four days down and only 2 more weeks to go!

Finally!

My new and improved master bathroom is finished. I couldn't be more thrilled with the results. It may not look like a lot of work to you but it was. First we painted the entire bathroom and covered that horrid wallpaper. Then we tore up the carpet and replaced the floor. Who ever thought of putting carpet in a bathroom in the first place is a complete idiot but I will save that for another day. We also replaced the toilet and hopefully soon the shower door. I'm so excited I love my new bathroom. Happy Day!


You can click image to enlarge.

Always My Son

Always My Son

Ten years ago today you came into this world,
A bouncing baby boy, Seth was your name.
You are my son, a part of me, and that will never change,
No matter what you do in life my love will still remain.
I held you as a baby boy and I looked into your face,
And I knew then, no other one could ever take your place.
I knew then as I held you, you would grow to be a man,
And anything you did in life I’d try to understand.
I knew you would make choices and would follow your own heart,
I only prayed that in your life I’d always have a part.
I know this life's not perfect and we do the best we can,
Just realize I love you and I’ll always understand.
I knew one day you would grow up and you would leave my nest,
I will do what I can for you and let God do the rest.
I have held you in my arms and done the best I can,
Now I pray that God will hold you as you become a man.
Just remember in my heart you are a special one,
And I will always proudly tell the world, "this is my son."

For Seth Michael May 10, 1998

Happy Birthday! You are loved and missed by many.

Empty

I fell asleep crying and I woke up crying. This time of year is so hard for me. Seth will be 10 years old tomorrow and I’m having a hard time coping. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and just hold my baby boy and never let him go. Instead I sit, numb, just waiting for the day to pass. I can re-live the day he was born just like it was yesterday. All the moments are still so fresh in my mind.

I started working on Seth’s story in hopes to share it with everyone on his birthday but it become too much, I didn’t finish. It’s the main area in my life that makes me fell like a total failure. I have a son out there who doesn’t have his mom. How do you write a story to tell people why you haven’t seen your son in 6 years? No matter how I seemed to word it, it just doesn’t sound right. I know the road to healing is telling people our story but for some reason I just can’t…gotta go…it’s too much.

In Laws

I’m so annoyed with my sister in law right now it’s so not even funny. It’s been a constant struggle with this girl since the day I met her but I recently discovered her talking about me on an online forum. Which in itself isn’t anything new but she knows I belong to this forum and yet she keeps throwing her little comments out there and it irks me like you wouldn’t believe.

She responded to a post about mother in laws and them being anti breastfeeding. She replied with some things about mother in law, then she busted out with this and I’m quoting exactly: “MIL also pressured my SIL so much that she gave up on BFing as well.” WTF? First of all I didn’t “give up” on breastfeeding and second if I did I can assure you mother in law had nothing to do with it. Arrrgh! I’m so frustrated. She always has to one up me. Like who gives a flying flip that you have officially breastfed your son for longer than I did. Congratulations, but do you need to bash me on an online forum. Grow up!

Oh and P.S. MIL reads that forum also hahaha!

Missing my granny

This past weekend my granny was moved in to an assisted living home. It was so hard on everyone involved. Although I wasn’t there to help with the move I didn’t get chance to pack something things up for her and see her one last time in her apartment. Which was so important for me because I spent a lot of time there as a child. Living 200+ miles away from my family is hard in times like these. I wish I could go visit and just sit with her because I know she misses me. Hopefully soon I will get some extra money to go see her, with gas prices these days, yikes, I don’t even want to think about the cost!

In other news I found out Monday that my oldest sister is having a baby girl. Yep that’s right I’m going to be an aunt. Yay! I’m so excited. I already went shopping for her and bought her some pretty pink clothes. You know she’s going to spoiled because I’m the best auntie on the block!

I'M BACKKKKKKKK!

Ray taking on this new job was harder then we thought it was going to be. Spending our nights apart took some adjusting but we made it through. He likes his job for the most part he just says the hours suck. This new job has also taken its toll on Rayce. He knows daddy is in the room but he doesn’t understand that daddy is sleeping and can’t come out and play. He sits at the closed door and just cries. Again we are hoping this shift is just temporary.

In other news I’m so thrilled to be back online. I missed my internet like you wouldn’t believe. I did a lot of catching up on things that needed to be done. We also started on some home renovations. I’m almost done painting the master bath and next on the list is a new floor in there. I’m just waiting on my stimulus check to finish that up.

Blogging should be back in full force soon, I can’t figure out my wireless for my laptop so until then I’m improvising.

Sigh

So I’m getting a small dose of what it is like to be a single parent. In the midst of my excitement I think I forgot to mention that Ray’s new job includes working the night shift. Yep, that’s right he will be working from 6 at night to 6 in the morning, Sunday-Tuesday and every other Wednesday. So, pretty much for those day he will be working and sleeping, with maybe an hour or two of catching up. Sigh. The good news is that it’s probably temporary. He can put in for a shift change in 6 months.

This will be real trying for the both of us. Trying for Ray because he is such a morning person. He has an inner alarm clock like no other. He’s always up at 7, bright eyed, and ready to go. Me on the other hand yea not so much. I’ve always had sleep issues. Part of my issue is I’m scared of the dark. I still sleep with a nightlight (several to be exact) and I have grown to rely on Ray to help me feel safe and secure. Since I met Ray he has really helped me with this issue, in feeling safe and secure enough to fall asleep. Sigh. What am I going to do? Rayce will be all the way on the other side of the house and I will be left alone to sleep in the king size bed alone. Sigh. Ok I’m just freaking myself out LOL! I will be ok we can do this! Thinking happy thoughts. Sunday is his first night. Sigh. LOL!

Venting

What goes around comes around. Those are words that were left on my voice mail a couple weeks ago and I just can’t get over it. I mean I’m over it but I just can’t get who left the message or the way it all went down out of my mind. And no it’s not who you’re thinking it is, you’re probably not even close. What gets me the most is, this person always claims to be so politically correct. See it was thought that my voicemail was messed up that day and that I wasn’t receiving my messages. So the message was left and when I called for an explanation is was denied. How convenient right? Little did they know that a number is attached to all my messages. Whatever. I’m just tired of people claiming to be “perfect”, this just goes to show that everyone makes mistakes, even those who try their hardest not too. We are all only human. It’s fine to leave messages like that but at least own up to it. Oh and one more thing, next time you try to cast stones step out of your glass house first why dontcha!

So proud

Ray finished up his training for his new job yesterday and received his certificate. I'm so proud of him for taking this huge leap of faith in stepping in to a new field of work. Once again I am really excited about this new company and I am can't wait to see what the future holds. Job well done honey, I am so proud of you!

He's going to be building airplanes!


Ray with his certificate!

My Presents!

This is what I got for my birthday this year!

1. A bed in a bag from my hubby.
2. A file cabinet from Rayce.
3. A workout video from my sis.
4. A build a bear from my mother in law.
5. Money from my mommy.
6. Not so much as even a phone call from my dad!

Overall I had a good birthday. Now if I can only get over this crappy cold, I'd be set!

Oh the joys of Birthday's

Today is my birthday, Happy Birthday to me! I swear the older you get the worse your birthday turns out. My morning started out slow because I woke up with whatever crud Rayce has had. I sound like a man and my head feels like it is filled with snot. Oh the joys of turning 29!

Rayce is still feeling under the weather so he is pretty cranky today. He only took about a 45-minute nap so he’s pretty tired. Poor little guys he’s been walking around here all day, trying to find something that will ease his discomfort. Being sick is for the birds!

We were supposed to be having a small BBQ today starting at 6 but MIL called this morning saying she would be late and it turns out my sis is going to be late as well. Which is fine in all actuality. I’m honored that they both are making a special trip to spend my birthday with me. Better late then never right?

So Ray is gone to Lowes right now. He’s out trying to get a shelf for our radio. You see we had to hook our radio up to our TV because the sound went out on it AGAIN! Mind you we just got our TV back from the repair place that charged us $300 to fix it. It’s a LCD flat screen; apparently they don’t have a good reputation.

So that’s my birthday babble! I will fill you in tomorrow on the presents I got…

Happy April!

I tried to get Ray with the good ol’ I’m pregnant trick today. He didn’t fall for it. Only because he saw an e-mail in my inbox about April fools pranks. Ah well I’ll have to come up with something a little more clever next year.

In other news, I’m pleased to announce Ray got a new job. He starts orientation on Monday and we are both excited about what this company has to offer. I’m hoping it’s somewhere he can stay for awhile because this company has a lot of room for advancement. We remain hopeful.

Only 2 more days until my birthday, yay! My sister and her kiddos are coming from out of town to celebrate with us. I always look forward too seeing them. Fun, fun! I can’t wait!

Ray Got Fired

What a way to start the week off right? Ray lost his job I just can't wrap around it. I kind of had a feeling it was coming because there had been talk about it around his work place but the timing just wasn't in our favor. He had an interview last week with a new company and he seems to think it went really well but we are still waiting for his offer letter. Even if he gets in with this new company it wouldn't be until the 14th of next month. That's 4 weeks away. Arrrgh! I'm so pissed. I told Ray to march his butt down to the unemployment office and make these people pay. Considering they didn't give him any explanation other then they needed someone who could work on Saturday's. WTF? That was just a total cop-out. It's a good thing I started this blog because it looks like I'm sure going to need it.

Easter Sunday

Today I'm sitting at home alone on Easter Sunday because I didn't want to go with Ray to his dad's house. Last fall we all had a falling out, a lot of hurtful words were exchanged and I just can't get over it. I can't get over the fact that someone who supposedly cares about you can say such hurtful things and then act like nothing ever happened.

So here I sit blogging in hopes to get some things off my chest. Hmm I think I will go have some Easter candy now...