Empty

I fell asleep crying and I woke up crying. This time of year is so hard for me. Seth will be 10 years old tomorrow and I’m having a hard time coping. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and just hold my baby boy and never let him go. Instead I sit, numb, just waiting for the day to pass. I can re-live the day he was born just like it was yesterday. All the moments are still so fresh in my mind.

I started working on Seth’s story in hopes to share it with everyone on his birthday but it become too much, I didn’t finish. It’s the main area in my life that makes me fell like a total failure. I have a son out there who doesn’t have his mom. How do you write a story to tell people why you haven’t seen your son in 6 years? No matter how I seemed to word it, it just doesn’t sound right. I know the road to healing is telling people our story but for some reason I just can’t…gotta go…it’s too much.